How To Be a Good Valentine: Mistakes To Avoid

Watch the Alcohol

"This is important not only because you may end up expressing emotions inappropriately, but you may also sabotage sex for Valentine's night," says Martin. "You don't want to be too drunk and falling asleep on a willing partner!"

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Don't Be a Last-Minute Lover

"The number one mistake that guys make is that they don't plan ahead on Valentine's Day," says Steve Santagati, founder of badboysfinishfirst.com and author of "The MANual: A True Bad Boy Explains How Men Think, Date, and Mate -- and What Women Can Do to Come Out on Top."

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Jeannine Kaiser, founder of yourdatingiq.com and author of "Cupid's Playbook," also endorses mapping out Valentine's Day plans as early as possible, so no one ends up disappointed. "If you decide on February 13th to pick up the phone and get flowers delivered or snag a dinner reservation, it's not going to happen."

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Save the First Date for Another Time

"Avoid first dates on Valentine's Day like the plague," Santagati warns. "Or else you're just asking for an awkward evening." Dr. Craig Martin, founder of doctorcraig.com and author of "Elemental Love Styles" adds, "It's a huge newbie mistake.

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Valentine's Day is a way too emotionally loaded situation for not only a first date but also for someone you're on the fence about. You don't want to spend the night wondering, 'What am I doing here with you?!'"

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Lighten Up

"Don't let the pressure build up so that celebrating Valentine's Day becomes an arduous task rather than a reminder that you love someone. No relationship is made better with artificial pressure," says Dr. Brenda Wade, founder of docwade.com and author of "Love Lessons."

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Don't Force It

"If someone is backing away, don't chase them. The key is to know that you can't force love. Don't amp it up just because it's Valentine's Day, and don't blow up a relationship into something that it isn't." advises Wade.

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Keep Your Expectations in Check

"If you're hoping for a ring on Valentine's Day, for example, you're just asking to be disappointed," says Kaiser. "If you keep your expectations simple, the bigger gestures will come as a nice surprise."

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And expecting your partner to match your idea of romance is a no-no as well, Kaiser adds. "Not everyone has the same idea of romance, so don't gauge a lack of creativity, for example, as being a failure. If that person spent time thinking about you on Valentine's Day, then that should be enough."

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Ask For What You Want

"Be proactive," Santagati suggests. "Take charge of the situation. Come up with ideas for Valentine's Day and communicate them. Especially ladies -- give guys some options because they struggle with Valentine's Day."

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Don't Be a Lonely Heart

Having a date on Valentine's Day is not the be-all and end-all. Instead, Kaiser proposes that, "Singles switch their mindsets by making Valentine's Day a day to show caring for family and friends."

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Don't Overdo or Underdo

"If you are just getting to know someone, keep your love offering very, very simple on Valentine's Day," says Wade. By the same token, people in long-term relationships should avoid not acknowledging the day at all. "Don't let it pass without a gesture, no matter how simple," Kaiser adds.

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Avoid Stale Valentine's Day Gestures

"Like telling the secretary to send flowers or chocolate," Martin quips. "Making the gesture without the feeling is a mistake because ultimately, love is from the heart, not the wallet."

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