Decorating as a Couple

Expect a rollercoaster of emotions:

Despite the excitement over moving in with her boyfriend, Tony, Kristine Hansen confesses that she was a little anxious, too. "I kept thinking, 'Am I going to lose my style? Is it going to feel like my space?'" she recalls.

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Mix medieval swords and paisley pillowcases:

The couple broke all the decorating rules and combined their favorite pieces into the décor. "I realized that it isn't my style verses his style; we're building a new style together," Hansen explains. As it turns out, opposites attract: His dark wood tones and her colorful accessories work perfectly together.

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Establish his-and-hers spaces:

A space that's all your own, whether it's a single drawer or an entire room, gives you license to be as messy - or as neat - as you choose without worrying about how your habits impact your partner.

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"The possessions we move into our new homes are the witnesses to the lives we've led," explains Leeds. "Arguments are never over boxes of books or ultra-feminine bedspreads; those things are just a cover for talking about the real issues." Leeds advises couples to talk about the feelings that arise over certain objects: Do you object to the black leather sofa because he bought it when he lived with an ex?

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Instead of waiting for your partner to offer up his opinion on plastic verses wooden hangers, case the bedroom to find out how he organizes his clothes. (He might not use hangers at all)! If he prefers piles, give him more shelf space in the closet.  "Organizing is all about figuring out what works for your life right now - not what worked before you moved in together," Norris says.

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Caroline Tiger is passionate about good design.  "I collect antique and vintage china and we joke that he doesn't understand why I'm hanging plates on the wall when we can't eat off of them," she says.  Tiger decided to take a different approach: She appealed to his love of history. "When I explain the antique plates and platters in the context of history- he gets it."

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Remember the tortoise and the hare:

The "slow-and-steady-wins-the-race" parable from the children's fairytale applies to creating a home together, too. You're not going to convince him to love shabby chic overnight and it's going to take longer than a few decades for you to appreciate his collection of bobbleheads.

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Leave the vintage swords, baseball bats and boxing gloves hanging on the walls:

Your partner's favorite "sports memorabilia" is not to be used against him.  At the end of the day, it's more important to live with a partner who is loving and supportive than one who understands that posters of Budweiser girls do not qualify as art.

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Learn to compromise:

We had to say it: Living happily ever after is all about compromise. Once Tiger convinced her husband to love, er, accept, the plates hanging on the walls of their Philadelphia rowhouse, the pair tackled their disparate organizing styles.

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